I Could Have Been The Best Thing
by Orchestra-Eight
Summary: So much can happen in two days. The real question is, how long will it take for the pain to leave, who will it take along the way, and how will one little miracle help heal the pain of a loss. Some extreme content here guys. Degrassi style in the way that what ever can happen does for the first few chapters.
1. Letting Go

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_The title is inspired by this quote_

So... from now on... when you think of me... just remember that I could've been the best thing you ever had.

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_"I- I can't Kurt. I'm not a fag!"_

Kurt jumped back as if he had been scalded, the searing pain emanated from the speaking of_ that _word almost making it seem like he had in fact, been burnt.

"_This is stupid Kurt, you cant keep trying to do this! I don't love you Kurt, I don't even like you and I never will. I'm not gay!"_

Finn stood confidently in front of him, an air of arrogance surrounding his posture as his words sunk in deep, pulling at the smaller boys heartstrings until they snapped.

"_What the hell did you just say to my kid!"_

The small counter-tenor just shook violently in place, tremors wracking his body. He didn't even move to glance at his red-faced father at the stairs or at Carole Hudson standing no less than two feet behind, her face morphed into something between pure terror, and shame. Finn's face changed to resemble his mothers, but Kurt had already figured out by this point that he didn't mean it. Those two seconds of pride that he had shown when telling Kurt that he wasn't a fag would forever be burned into the smaller boys memory.

"_Finn." _The larger Hummel spoke, being the first to take action in the seriousness of the situation_, "Pack your stuff. You and your mom can't stay here anymore."_

Kurt's body wracked with sobs, letting loose all the emotion he had been trying to hold in. He had prayed that this wouldn't happen. Not again. He had tried his hardest to control himself, his feelings, so another Faggygate exactly like the first one wouldn't happen. But sadly, here it was, unravelling right in front of his eyes.

"_No," _He spoke under his breath._ "No."_

He made a split second decision and bolted up the stairs full force, ignoring the sympathetic and worried glances the three other people shot him as he ran. He just had to get out, now.

"_Burt." _Carole spoke as the larger Hummel tried to run upstairs after his son,_ "He needs to be alone right now okay? Just give him time." _She smiled as he physically relaxed, only for everyone to tense up as an ear-shattering snapping noise resounded above them.

Burt bolted up the stairs, an astounded Carole in his wake and Finn following close behind her. When he came upon the guest bedroom he ripped the door open, as if he knew that's exactly where the noise had came from. And as they all glanced upon none other than Kurt Hummel laying on the floor with a bullet hole in his left side of his chest and a revolver in his hand, Finn thought that maybe Burt knew all along.

"_Finn, call 911."_

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So, should I write more or leave it a one shot? Lemmie know. Also, if you're for continuing let me know if you think Kurt should die or not. I already have the next chapter planned if i should continue, but you guys may be able to sway me. Thanks R&R! 3


	2. Consequences

I will be continuing! Although I'm not sure for how long. This chapter is as deep as the first my friends, but well, it was required. Sorry.

Some people like to talk about how they fell in love, but anyone who has ever loved and lost, knows that you can fall right out of love just as quickly.

Something hard had collided roughly with Finn's chest, Kurt. That was the beginning of this whole mess, Kurt had tripped and fell into Finn while bustling around the basement the two boys still shared. The smaller boy had doing that a lot lately, falling, usually into Finn, and the jock had been becoming sick of it, becoming sick of being touched by Kurt. It seemed like the boy was faking his little stumbles just to be able to feel Finn. He wasn't gay, he wasn't a fag, and he didn't like Kurt touching him. God, why did Kurt have to go and fall in love with him?

The tainted smell of death flooded throughout the corridors of the ICU. Kurt had been rushed the hospital and taken in for surgery immediately. He had grazed his heart with the bullet, and had bled out from there. Finn was pretty sure that was the part he would remember most; the blood. God, there was so much of it. The white carpet of the newly renovated guest room was covered with the sticky red substance and the image of Kurt lying in the puddle of it was burned into his mind. It was like his eyes couldn't see anything else, nothing but Kurt, and all that blood.

Mercedes had been called hours ago, and had shown up hours ago, but the normally loud girl was almost eerily silent, and it unnerved Finn more than he thought it would. He had whispered to Puck several times how much he wanted her and Kurt to shut up, but now he wanted nothing more than for the smaller boy to wake up and for the two of them to start chatting about what was in style these days.

Finn almost wished that he could be upset about hurting Kurt so badly, but he wasn't. He had said what he felt, and he was sick of Kurt draping himself all over him like he used to. The jock had hoped for them to be over that stepping stone but it seemed the kicker had been intent on backtracking every time they got a step ahead.

Although Finn wasn't upset about what he said, he was torn apart by the consequences of his words, and that itself was enough to make him do what he knew he ought to.

Dear Mom and Burt,

Make sure that he lives, because he is amazing. I wish I could be sorry for what I said, but I'm not, and that's why I have to leave. When that boy wakes up he's gunna need people that won't hurt him and that's all I seem to be able to do. He's my brother, and I'm only sorry for saying one thing. I do love him, just, not it the way he'll always want me to. I'm sorry.

Finn

The squeal of tires was heard out front of the hospital and the three occupants of Kurt's room rushed to the window, a crushed body was laying on the asphalt three stories below them. As Carole burst into tears, Mercedes squinted her eyes closed to hide the image before her. Only Burt muttered two words everyone was thinking as he comforted the sobbing woman in his arms. "Oh Finn."

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Again, this is rated for sensitive matter. It only get worse in this chapter people. Sorry but it had to be done. I have no clue how I could continue with this with Finn still as a character so, I apologize but I had to. Sadly Finn will not be waking up. I love his character, so I decided guilt-ridden-and-suicidal Finn was better than I-dont-care-that-my-almost-brother-shot-himself Finn. If anyone tells me this isn't very realistic they obviously havent lived with the guilt of causing something so drastic. Finn obviously wouldn't be thinking straight and might even be so guilt ridden that he felt he deserved to die. So therefore, he jumped out in front of a car. End of argument.

Love you guys, and I promise this will get better. R&R


	3. New Addition

So heres some...lighter...topics. I'm trying to balance out the angstyness a tiny bit.

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Everyone had been through so much in the process of two days. Carole had almost lost her fiancé, almost lost her fiancé's son and had in fact, lost her son and her only tie to her long dead husband in two days, and honestly believed that she would never step into a hospital again. Or at least, she had hoped.

Kurt had woken up two weeks after Finn jumped off the roof of the hospital, and had plunged into desperate tears the minute his eyes opened. "I'm supposed to be dead! Why did you save me? I don't want to live!" It seemed as though the mantra was supposed to comfort Kurt himself, and no matter how hard anyone tried, they couldn't get him to stop shouting, no matter how much it would harm him, or no matter how much it obviously hurt him. No one, that is, until Carole shouted aloud the elephant in the room, "Finn's Dead!"

Kurt hadn't spoken a word since then. Mercedes, along with the rest of Glee Club had come to visit, and they had all tried to talk to the mute Kurt, but the boy would have none of it and looked away, listening but avoiding contact at all costs. After a while, the talking stopped altogether.

He had gotten to go home two weeks later, although a shrink would be checking on him weekly. It seemed that nowadays the old man was the only one who would be able to get Kurt to speak, and although Burt was grateful for it, it didn't mean he didn't he miss his little boy.

"Kurt…buddy," Burt started gently, "you know you can talk to me about anything right?". There was silence for a few minutes, completely quiet except for the soft breathing of both Hummel's. As Burt grew tired of the silence and was about to repeat himself he heard a soft mumble. "I loved him Dad….and he was stupid and broke my heart. Never, ever, would I have thought, that I could have broken his in return." Burt started crying as he bundled his sobbing son up in his arms, but they weren't sad tears, at least not completely. His boy was talking, that had to mean something right?

A week later, a Tuesday in fact, the Hummel's had returned to the hospital, although this time, it was a different kind of visit. Carole had never wanted to be in a hospital ever again, but as she lay in her hospital gown she had never loved f her Fiance's food poisoning potatoes more. "Congratulations Ms. Hudson. You're pregnant."

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Like? Hate? Lemmie know! R&R! Sorry its so short but theres not much else I can say.


	4. In The Spirit

**So I'm incredibly sorry for not updating but I've decided on making this a short 5 short-chapter story. I know I know! where did I go right?I guess I've just been in a writing funk. I lost track of where this was going and as soon as I figured it out my teachers all went "hey its november lets load the kids up on homework!" all at the same time. I apologize. I'm going to try and finish this story this week and then I'm going to spend the rest of my free time trying to finish my other incomplete story. The sad part is I havent updated it in so long that I can't even remember the name. After I finish that I think I'm just going to stick to one shots for a while. I might add the little Rachel/Jesse ( hate St. Berry but it is suprisingly easy to write) one shot thingy I JUST finished(like literally 5 minutes ago)too. Lcve you guys. Thanks for anyone whos still kicking. :)**

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Kurt had never been one for superstitions, and doubted the existence of ghosts or spirits, but on a calm Monday eight months into Carole's pregnancy, he might have second guessed what he did and didn't believe in.

The night had started off surprisingly calm, the sting of Finn's suicide has lessened slightly but the awkward tension was still there. Mercedes had come to visit Kurt earlier in the afternoon and they had wasted away the time reading through fashion magazines, gossiping about celebrities and having one of their spa days. Kurt had dramatically loosened up since his release from the hospital and had even involved himself in baby preparations. The only thing they were missing was a name.

Walking quietly down the stairs to his basement Kurt stopped abruptly, catching the glimpse of a soft white light emanating from his closet. Figuring he had just left the light on, Kurt walked slowly over in the darkness slowly pulled the door open peering into the large walk-in sized storage space. When he found that the light bulb was in fact, not glowing he noticed a hunched figure peering through his clothes as if looking for something. He watched the lumbering figure walk down the shelves, taking in the appearance of each item and stopping in front of a section of shirts. Slowly, the figure reached out and silently pushed back the articles of clothing to reveal two red shirts, one containing the number 5, and the other a number 3. Finally working up the courage to speak, Kurt opened his mouth, only to release a little gasp of air. The face of the form looked over cautiously at Kurt and before the small boy had time to focus or double-take, the shape was gone.

Visibly shaken, Kurt went to lie down in his bed, repeating the mantra of "It wasn't real," in his head. As he lay in his pyjamas trying his best to fall asleep Kurt may or may not have heard someone with a very raspy male voice softly singing Don't Stop Believing.

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**If you don't believe in ghosts, please dont hate. Its just a story. The next and final chapter will have more spookiness and the new baby! :)**


	5. The Journey

Final chapter guys. This didn't exactly come out as I really wanted it to, thats why it took so long and I'm super sorry! If you don't like it, I'm sorry again, cause I'm not changing it. I finally got it halfway decent. This is the end. feel free to tell me how much you love it or hate it. K thanks!

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It was a cool day in mid-January when Carole went into labour, the Hummel men rushed around her grabbing objects that were needed for the trip and leaving a wake in their path. The ride to the hospital was a calming sort of quiet, everyone just listening to the other breathing and trying to prepare for what lay ahead of them.

Carole was rushed inside immediately and after 6 hours, Kurt became a proud new brother to a baby boy. The name hadn't been chosen yet, and since Carole was asleep, it wouldn't be chosen anytime soon. Kurt stood to travel the hallways, the out of nowhere labour pains, and Carole's insistent screaming of "The baby's coming" had shocked his nerves and he needed to let loose a little steam before returning to his father's side.

He travelled down the hall to the nursery and looked carefully for his little brother, who ended up being on the left hand side, wrapped in a small blue blanket and hat. He smiled gently, as the brown eyes of the baby boy glanced around the room.

A older nurse came out a second later, smiling at him genuinely, and asked him which one was his. Sighing nervously he pointed at the baby and muttered to the kind old lady that it was his brother. As she stood beside him, beaming at the small boy she asked if the counter-tenor wanted to hold him. Looking up at the nurse in shock and seeing only sincerity in her eyes, he nodded and followed her inside.

As he stood next to the cart that hosted the baby's bed he felt an extreme amount of accomplishment and serenity. He reached out his pink finger for the baby to grasp soon after the nurse has placed the small boy in his arms. The nurse left quietly, exiting through a door and leaving the youngest Hummel men to themselves.

Kurt felt a chill as soon as the nurse had gone, so he pulled the cap down tighter on his brothers head and watched as the small boy's eyes widened and his tiny hand gripped his pinky finger. Looking up in front of him, Kurt nearly jumped out of his skin. He could have sworn that none other than Finn Hudson was standing in front of him. Shaking his head but still carefully holding the baby he glanced up again, only to find the transparent figure still there with his trademark lopsided grin in place.

Kurt thought that it was weird that Finn or whatever was in front of him was seemed to have eyes only for the small boy in his arms, and as the figure walked forward the brown eyes he had once fallen in love with gazed deeply into the irises that so resembled Finn's own.

Kurt was once again startled as the figure he had come to know as his dead brother spoke to the small child. "Hey Journey." he said with a grin, still obviously avoiding or oblivious to Kurt's presence. "I always wanted a baby brother," he continued, eyes finally glancing up at Kurt's face, "I had one once, well I still do, but…its complicated little buddy." Kurt's eyes we're wet, the moisture now rolling down his cheek and onto the soft baby blanket. The baby stirred in his arms scrunching up his face as if he was about to cry, but halted when Finn placed his hand on the small boys head. "Don't cry little man," he started, his grin extending, "My little brother is going to be your big brother, and he'll take good care of you."

Kurt interrupted then "Just like my big brother did for me." The smile on Finn's face spread to his eyes as he nodded. "Even better," and in a flash, he was gone. The nurse appear a millisecond later, her genuine smile still on her face. "Ready to take your brother to your parents?" Kurt nodded, not quite sure if he trusted his voice just yet, and after placing the baby back in its bed, he followed the nurse down the hall.

Journey Andrew Hummel, weighing 6 pounds and 14 ounces, went home a week later. Kurt may or may not have suggested the name, and he may or may not have seen a tall figure smiling back at him at the end of the hall as they left. He may or may not have heard a slightly raspy, yet soft version of Faithfully being sung to little Journey when he started crying, and as Kurt got up to check on his little brother he may or may not have sang along.

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The End :)

R&R!


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